Gays and the Baha'i Faith: message in a bottle

Please note that in the following I am not proposing that the partners in the marriage prescribed by Baha'u'llah can be two women or two men. I'm proposing that what Baha'u'llah says about marriage has no relevance at all to the lawfulness or unlawfulness of sexual and marriage relationships that do not potentially include coitus. I'm not proposing that two women or two men can have a "Baha'i marriage," in the sense of a marriage that is authenticated by a Baha'i institution. I'm proposing that there is nothing for any institution to authenticate, because there are no laws that apply to it.

Please note that in the following there is no underlying concept of "orientation" or "orientation change." What I mean by "gays" is people who call themselves gay, and sometimes, other people that gays call gay. What I mean by "straight" is whatever it might mean to whoever I'm talking to.

Please note that in the following there is no underlying fixed concept of homosexual or homosexuality. When I use those terms, I'm referring to whatever other people might mean when they use them.

Please note that in the following I'm not proposing any sweeping answer to whether same-sex sexuality is right or wrong. I'm proposing that, apart from some restrictions on the use of coital organs, it's a matter for individuals to decide for themselves.

I wrote to the Baha'i World Center about the note in the Kitab-i-Aqdas that says "The word translated here as 'boys' has, in this context, in the Arabic original, the implication of paederasty. Shoghi Effendi has interpreted this reference as a prohibition on all homosexual relations." In response, the research department said that those words were not actually taken from the writings of Shoghi Effendi. That note is someone else's interpretation of a cross-reference between the word "homosexuality" and the passage on "the subject of boys," in the margin of Shoghi Effendi's notes for the Kitab-i-Aqdas.

"Homosexual relations" seems too ambiguous to me, to resolve any questions about the lawfulness or unlawfulness of any kind of sexuality or marriage between two women or two men. Apart from that, it seems more plausible to me to imagine that Shoghi Effendi's cross-reference between the the word "homosexuality" and the passage on "the subject of boys" specifies what he meant by "homosexuality": whatever Baha'u'llah meant by "the subject of boys." In other words, the unfavorable terms that Shoghi Effendi applied to homosexuality, and the prohibition against it, might refer precisely to whatever Baha'u'llah meant by "the subject of boys." For now I'm imagining that Baha'u'llah was referring to cultural practices that revolve around using a man as a substitute for a woman, in an imitation of coitus.

I know there's nothing new in the idea that the passage on "the subject of boys" refers to such cultural practices. What I have not seen discussed is the possibility that Shoghi Effendi's cross reference between "homosexuality" and "the subject of boys" means that such cultural practices were precisely what he himself meant by "homosexuality."

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Some ideas I'm proposing:

- Baha'u'llah's prescriptions for marriage, and prohibiting adultery, are for relationships that potentially include coitus, and have no relevance for the lawfulness or unlawfulness of sexuality and marriage between two women or two men.

- Baha'u'llah's prohibition against sodomy, and what He said about "the subject of boys," refer to cultural practices that revolve around using a man as a substitute for a woman, in an imitation of coitus.

- Apart from, possibly, some restrictions on the use of coital organs, sexuality and marriage between two women or two men are issues of chastity, not law, for individuals to decide for themselves, as long as they do not defame the Baha'i community.

- Although Baha'u'llah's prescriptions for marriage, and prohibitions against certain sexual acts, have no relevance to the lawfulness or unlawfulness of sexuality and marriage between two women or two men (apart from some restrictions on the use of coital organs), they might illuminate some relevant spiritual principles.

- Another spiritual principle that might apply is what Baha'u'llah said about our relationships with those in authority in general, and with Baha'i institutions in particular. For some gay members of the Baha'i Faith, in some communities, that might mean living apart from one's partner, and other deprivations, for an indefinite period of time. Those who are consequently deprived of sexual intimacy in their lives might be helped to face that in whatever ways people learn to live with being deprived of some other part of life, like seeing or hearing.

- One way to help end the stigma and needless restrictions on gay Baha'is might be to study and practice what Abdu'l-Baha said about teaching with wisdom, and apply it to teaching Baha'is about gays and homosexuality. Another way might be to cooperate with Baha'i institutions in protecting the reputation of the Baha'i community.

- One way to help protect gays from abuse by people trying to change them, might be to help gays who want to, to find safe and healthy ways to try to learn to have an honest, happy marriage with a person of the other sex. If no one helps them find safe and healthy ways to pursue that goal, they will have nowhere to go but to people who will harm them.

- What people mean by saying they're gay varies from person to person, but sometimes it's a deeply rooted part of their personality, like being introverted or extroverted.

- Regardless of what anyone thinks about the value of feelings for some people of the same sex that are commonly associated with sexuality, those feelings are closely intertwined with other, indisputably valuable personality traits, and can not be repressed without repressing those at the same time.

- There is no harm, necessarily, in trying to develop feelings for one sex or the other, that one has never felt before.

- If there is any possibility for a person who thinks he's gay or homosexual to have an honest, healthy and happy marriage with a person of the other sex, it will not be by trying to become a straight person. It will be by appreciating the value of the part of his personality that he calls gay or homosexual, and treating the temptations that come with it, and the feelings that don't, as challenges to be overcome like any of the other daunting challenges that most of us face in trying to have healthy and happy marriages.