Thursday, January 8, 2009

Rediscovering Baha'u'llah

I've always had trouble trying to describe the thoughts and feelings that lead to me wanting to rediscover Baha'u'llah. One way is by reference to this:
From the sweet-scented streams of Thine eternity give me to drink, O my God, and of the fruits of the tree of Thy being enable me to taste, O my Hope! From the crystal springs of Thy love suffer me to quaff, O my Glory, and beneath the shadow of Thine everlasting providence let me abide, O my Light! Within the meadows of Thy nearness, before Thy presence, make me able to roam, O my Beloved, and at the right hand of the throne of Thy mercy, seat me, O my Desire! From the fragrant breezes of Thy joy let a breath pass over me, O my Goal, and into the heights of the paradise of Thy reality let me gain admission, O my Adored One! To the melodies of the dove of Thy oneness suffer me to hearken, O Resplendent One, and through the spirit of Thy power and Thy might quicken me, O my Provider! In the spirit of Thy love keep me steadfast, O my Succorer, and in the path of Thy good-pleasure set firm my steps, O my Maker! Within the garden of Thine immortality, before Thy countenance, let me abide for ever, O Thou Who art merciful unto me, and upon the seat of Thy glory stablish me, O Thou Who art my Possessor! To the heaven of Thy loving-kindness lift me up, O my Quickener, and unto the Day-Star of Thy guidance lead me, O Thou my Attractor! Before the revelations of Thine invisible spirit summon me to be present, O Thou Who art my Origin and my Highest Wish, and unto the essence of the fragrance of Thy beauty, which Thou wilt manifest, cause me to return, O Thou Who art my God!
(Baha'u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha'u'llah, p. 257)

I've always imagined that turning to God would feel more and more like that. Sweet-scented streams, crystal springs, shadow of providence, fragrant breezes, melodies of the dove, firm steps in a path, abiding in a garden. Was that just an idle fancy? Sometimes I miss feeling that way, and I start thinking that maybe I need to rediscover Baha'u'llah.

I used to have more of some of the feelings I've missed, before I turned Baha'u'llah into an authority figure. I recovered some of that after my dialogue/Talisman adventures, but I'm still a long way from what I'm longing for. Hm. Maybe that's why it's called "longing."

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