Rediscovering Baha'u'llah

I've always had trouble trying to describe the thoughts and feelings that lead to me wanting to rediscover Baha'u'llah. One way is by reference to this:

From the sweet-scented streams of Thine eternity give me to drink, O my God, and of the fruits of the tree of Thy being enable me to taste, O my Hope! From the crystal springs of Thy love suffer me to quaff, O my Glory, and beneath the shadow of Thine everlasting providence let me abide, O my Light! Within the meadows of Thy nearness, before Thy presence, make me able to roam, O my Beloved, and at the right hand of the throne of Thy mercy, seat me, O my Desire! From the fragrant breezes of Thy joy let a breath pass over me, O my Goal, and into the heights of the paradise of Thy reality let me gain admission, O my Adored One! To the melodies of the dove of Thy oneness suffer me to hearken, O Resplendent One, and through the spirit of Thy power and Thy might quicken me, O my Provider! In the spirit of Thy love keep me steadfast, O my Succorer, and in the path of Thy good-pleasure set firm my steps, O my Maker! Within the garden of Thine immortality, before Thy countenance, let me abide for ever, O Thou Who art merciful unto me, and upon the seat of Thy glory stablish me, O Thou Who art my Possessor! To the heaven of Thy loving-kindness lift me up, O my Quickener, and unto the Day-Star of Thy guidance lead me, O Thou my Attractor! Before the revelations of Thine invisible spirit summon me to be present, O Thou Who art my Origin and my Highest Wish, and unto the essence of the fragrance of Thy beauty, which Thou wilt manifest, cause me to return, O Thou Who art my God!

(Baha'u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha'u'llah, p. 257)

I've always imagined that turning to God would feel more and more like that. Sweet-scented streams, crystal springs, shadow of providence, fragrant breezes, melodies of the dove, firm steps in a path, abiding in a garden. Was that just an idle fancy? Sometimes I miss feeling that way, and I start thinking that maybe I need to rediscover Baha'u'llah.

I used to have more of some of the feelings I've missed, before I turned Baha'u'llah into an authority figure. I recovered some of that after my dialogue/Talisman adventures, but I'm still a long way from what I'm longing for. Hm. Maybe that's why it's called "longing."